I had a realization the other day. It was a random moment, an Ah Ha! moment... Wes, me, and the girls drove to walmart, and on the way home he started talking about something that he used to do on Noland road... and he kept talking, but i was away in never never land thinking... Thinking about how just last year i wouldnt have known what or where noland road was.. or who he was talking about..
I used to joke with people at the casino where i worked that the only place i knew how to get to was the Walmart... which was true for the longest time.. I didnt go anywhere.. I hated everything out here except my husband and daughter. (pre brooklynn time).. But now i feel like i can get most anywhere... I'm more comfortable.
I thought about how I didnt go to bed sad anymore from hating it here so much. There was a situation going on out here for a long time that kept me extremely sad. It made me insecure towards everyone because i didnt know who all was buying into all the crap going on, and who wasnt. Now that that is gone, everything has been steadily getting better.
I realized that night that this is home now. I'm much more comfortable here. I have learned who I can trust, and who to distance myself and my family from. I have learned where the drama comes from, and i stay away from it. I have developed a great friendship out here, and that makes it a million times better. My relationship with my mother in law is great, and i wish it could have been that way the whole time. It was hard to see who is who when you have shut everyone out altogether because of everything that was happening.
Life out here has become very easy, and nice.
Home will always be wherever my husband and my babies are. Theres no where else id rather be at the end of the day than in bed with my husband, or with my girls. That can be here, Virginia, or Kenya. I dont care...
On that note.. goodnight
I make babies, whats your superpower?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Lately I have been having a struggle with Bryleigh. Ever since we got back from our trip, she has been acting different. She has been fussy, angry, and aggressive. This is not the baby girl that i left before our trip to california. We have done a great job getting back on schedule, but when she is awake she is acting like a terror. I wish she could put into words whatever it is that is bothering her. I hate feeling like I constantly have to tell her No-no, or be nice.
This morning she kicked brooklynn twice, hit her twice, and wacked her on the head with a book. I have made it very clear to Bryleigh that this behavior is not okay. She will look me in the eyes, and at the same time very carefully put her foot over brooklynns head, and try to step down. I of course am able to get to her and stop her most of the time before she does this, but none the less, she still tries. None of my tactics were working today so finally i put her in her crib for a little while after one of her incidents so I could feed Brooklynn a bottle. When i got done, i got bryleigh up from her "time out" and she acted perfectly fine, like a little angel. I think the jealousy is really starting towards Brooklynn. She has never had a problem with this until now. I try everyday to make sure i am spending a plenty of one on one time with Bryleigh, but even when I am just focusing my attention to her, she will find brooklynn and try to hit her, or bite her, or kick her. Whether I am staring at her or not, she doesnt care. I am assuming she is testing her bounderies, over and over, and over again. I try to redirect her, but she is always a woman on a mission. She is very determined, and whatever it is she is trying to do, she WILL go do it once she has made it a goal. Ho hum. Bryleigh has been a very strong willed child since birth, and i know this is only the beginning. I tell her how good she is being, and praise her often. I try to make sure I am praising her more than the negative words like "no mam", or "thats not nice". I let her touch brooklynn, and show her how to be gentle. She tells her sister "nigh nigh Dookynn" every night and gives her a kiss. I know she can be a gentle, loving, sweet little girl.
This morning she kicked brooklynn twice, hit her twice, and wacked her on the head with a book. I have made it very clear to Bryleigh that this behavior is not okay. She will look me in the eyes, and at the same time very carefully put her foot over brooklynns head, and try to step down. I of course am able to get to her and stop her most of the time before she does this, but none the less, she still tries. None of my tactics were working today so finally i put her in her crib for a little while after one of her incidents so I could feed Brooklynn a bottle. When i got done, i got bryleigh up from her "time out" and she acted perfectly fine, like a little angel. I think the jealousy is really starting towards Brooklynn. She has never had a problem with this until now. I try everyday to make sure i am spending a plenty of one on one time with Bryleigh, but even when I am just focusing my attention to her, she will find brooklynn and try to hit her, or bite her, or kick her. Whether I am staring at her or not, she doesnt care. I am assuming she is testing her bounderies, over and over, and over again. I try to redirect her, but she is always a woman on a mission. She is very determined, and whatever it is she is trying to do, she WILL go do it once she has made it a goal. Ho hum. Bryleigh has been a very strong willed child since birth, and i know this is only the beginning. I tell her how good she is being, and praise her often. I try to make sure I am praising her more than the negative words like "no mam", or "thats not nice". I let her touch brooklynn, and show her how to be gentle. She tells her sister "nigh nigh Dookynn" every night and gives her a kiss. I know she can be a gentle, loving, sweet little girl.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
trippppppp
wow was that a fun, fast, exciting 5 days i just had.
When we had Bryleigh, as all parents know, our alone time came to a sudden end. And even though Bryleigh and Brooklynn are the most important things in our lives, we decided to make it a tradition to take a trip just the two of us every year even if it is only a weekend getaway.. I think that time together is really important. We decided that we would have this getaway the weekend of our anniversary each year. The first year we went to branson missouri for 2 nights. That was an awesome trip. All i remember about that trip was getting the chance to sleep. Because for those oof you that knew bryleigh as a baby, sleep wasnt something she did often. Crying, that was her thing. lol. (She had EXTREME colic until 6 months). So we slept for pretty much 2 days. That was nice. This trip was way different. WAY DIFFERENT..
This year we decided to spend 3 nights in los angeles. I had always wanted to go there, so this really was a dream come true. We got up at 4am saturday morning, and the plane left at 6. We got to LA by 9am, so we had the whole day! We started out by going to the farmers market, then to beverly hills to do some sight seeing/shopping/ eating.
As soon as we finished that, we checked in to our hotel, and left right away and headed to the santa monica pier. We rode these awesome low mini bike things all around the pier. Then we rode all the carnival rides. That night we ate dinner at a famous hot dog joint called Pinks hot dogs in beverly hills. Apparently all the celebs go there. We pretty much stood in line for an hour for a hot dog that wasnt that great lol. After that we went to sleep, because we had been up since 2 am LA time.
The next day we got up really early and left for San Diego. We went to ride go carts first, which was sooo much fun. I have had to watch on the side lines foro the last 2 years due to pregnancy, so it was awesome to be able to actually get in on the action! After go carts we went to a huge water park. They had some of the nicest water rides i had ever seen. We had a lot of fun there. Then we went and had sushi, and checked out the navy base, and looked at some houses in the san diego area for the future. We found one we really liked, so we got the flier there and it was 1.8 million dollars... well, thats not going to work out. lol. After all that, we headed back for the night.
Monday was our packed day! We got up bright and early and headed to Universal studios hollywood. We rode rides, took the studio tour and had a really good time. We were there for 4 hours then had to go to the WB set tour that we had reservations for. I got to walk through the sets of Friends, two and a half men, the mentalist, Ellen, and many others. That might have been my favorite part of the trip, not sure, there were many good times.
next we went straight to six flags. WOW. There is a new ride there, a prototype rollercoaster. The first one ofo its kind. It was 5 dimensional, and flipped and turned all different ways, like literally. If you start off in the front row, you will be in the back row within a second. you go backwards, spin on the track, flip, etc, all in one ride. not only do the loops flip you over, but the "cart" itself flips over on the track. It had a 90 degree drop, and i have never in my life screamed on a ride out of fear, until then. I loved it. Six flags magic mountain had the best roller coasters i had ever seen, and im soo glad we packed this day so full and were able to go.
Tuesday we walked around hollywood blvd looking at the walk of fame, and also visited the hollywood sign. Our flight out of LA was delayed, and it caused us to miss our connecting flight out ofo dallas. I was soooo sad. I just wanted to hold my babies soooo bad that i cried. Although the staff at american airlines was ridiculously rude to everyone on the flight, they did provide us with hotel accomodations and dinner/breakfast vouchers. We got in at 9 this morning, and i was soo thrilled to see my girls.
Now they are sleeping, and that is where i am going.
When we had Bryleigh, as all parents know, our alone time came to a sudden end. And even though Bryleigh and Brooklynn are the most important things in our lives, we decided to make it a tradition to take a trip just the two of us every year even if it is only a weekend getaway.. I think that time together is really important. We decided that we would have this getaway the weekend of our anniversary each year. The first year we went to branson missouri for 2 nights. That was an awesome trip. All i remember about that trip was getting the chance to sleep. Because for those oof you that knew bryleigh as a baby, sleep wasnt something she did often. Crying, that was her thing. lol. (She had EXTREME colic until 6 months). So we slept for pretty much 2 days. That was nice. This trip was way different. WAY DIFFERENT..
This year we decided to spend 3 nights in los angeles. I had always wanted to go there, so this really was a dream come true. We got up at 4am saturday morning, and the plane left at 6. We got to LA by 9am, so we had the whole day! We started out by going to the farmers market, then to beverly hills to do some sight seeing/shopping/ eating.
As soon as we finished that, we checked in to our hotel, and left right away and headed to the santa monica pier. We rode these awesome low mini bike things all around the pier. Then we rode all the carnival rides. That night we ate dinner at a famous hot dog joint called Pinks hot dogs in beverly hills. Apparently all the celebs go there. We pretty much stood in line for an hour for a hot dog that wasnt that great lol. After that we went to sleep, because we had been up since 2 am LA time.
The next day we got up really early and left for San Diego. We went to ride go carts first, which was sooo much fun. I have had to watch on the side lines foro the last 2 years due to pregnancy, so it was awesome to be able to actually get in on the action! After go carts we went to a huge water park. They had some of the nicest water rides i had ever seen. We had a lot of fun there. Then we went and had sushi, and checked out the navy base, and looked at some houses in the san diego area for the future. We found one we really liked, so we got the flier there and it was 1.8 million dollars... well, thats not going to work out. lol. After all that, we headed back for the night.
Monday was our packed day! We got up bright and early and headed to Universal studios hollywood. We rode rides, took the studio tour and had a really good time. We were there for 4 hours then had to go to the WB set tour that we had reservations for. I got to walk through the sets of Friends, two and a half men, the mentalist, Ellen, and many others. That might have been my favorite part of the trip, not sure, there were many good times.
next we went straight to six flags. WOW. There is a new ride there, a prototype rollercoaster. The first one ofo its kind. It was 5 dimensional, and flipped and turned all different ways, like literally. If you start off in the front row, you will be in the back row within a second. you go backwards, spin on the track, flip, etc, all in one ride. not only do the loops flip you over, but the "cart" itself flips over on the track. It had a 90 degree drop, and i have never in my life screamed on a ride out of fear, until then. I loved it. Six flags magic mountain had the best roller coasters i had ever seen, and im soo glad we packed this day so full and were able to go.
Tuesday we walked around hollywood blvd looking at the walk of fame, and also visited the hollywood sign. Our flight out of LA was delayed, and it caused us to miss our connecting flight out ofo dallas. I was soooo sad. I just wanted to hold my babies soooo bad that i cried. Although the staff at american airlines was ridiculously rude to everyone on the flight, they did provide us with hotel accomodations and dinner/breakfast vouchers. We got in at 9 this morning, and i was soo thrilled to see my girls.
Now they are sleeping, and that is where i am going.
Monday, May 17, 2010
its been while...
I havent had many chances to blog lately. I have sat down and started typing a couple of times in the past week or so, and then someone cries, or wakes up, or falls down etc, and i forget what i was doing lol.
Wes and i have been doing a lot of talking, and planning for our future lately. Its so hard, with kids, to make decisions. It's not all about me anymore, and its not all about him. So we have to think so carefully about the decisions we make, to ensure we are making the best possible one for our kids sake.
One of the big decisions we have made, is that I am starting school again. I have a year to go until i finish my bachelors, and we found the perfect school that goes right along with RBC's curriculum pretty much, so i was able to transfer everything in. I start the 21st, and i will be done in May of next year. After that, we will decide if i want to join the navy as an officer, or get my Masters in Counseling education to be an elementary school guidance counselor.
We have also decided that wes is going to start on his degree. I say start, but really he already is almost halfway done. He has taken courses on his deployments, and has a lot of college credits in the field of electronics with his training for the navy. So he is going to start working on his degree in electronics engineering from ECPI. Their program is excelerated, so he will be done ithin two years by taking 2 classes every 5 weeks. After he finishes that, he will be able to become an officer in the navy. Which leads us to our even biggest decision of them all.......
When he becomes an officer, he will have to go to OCS, which is officer candidate school, for 12 weeks. OCS is in annapolis maryland. After he completes that, he will have to do 24 weeks in Athens Georgia. During this time, me and the girls will be living in VA. Probably gonna rent a place for 6 months. After that, we will try for orders to san diego.
We think the next 3 years will be the best time for us to ogo to san diego. We want to live there for one 3 year tour in our life. We think its best to do it while the girls are still young. They will be 2 and 3 when we get there. That way, they will be 5 and 6 when we move to VA, and they can go to the same school system the rest of the time until they graduate, with the same friends and stuff.
So, thats our plan.
Wes and i have been doing a lot of talking, and planning for our future lately. Its so hard, with kids, to make decisions. It's not all about me anymore, and its not all about him. So we have to think so carefully about the decisions we make, to ensure we are making the best possible one for our kids sake.
One of the big decisions we have made, is that I am starting school again. I have a year to go until i finish my bachelors, and we found the perfect school that goes right along with RBC's curriculum pretty much, so i was able to transfer everything in. I start the 21st, and i will be done in May of next year. After that, we will decide if i want to join the navy as an officer, or get my Masters in Counseling education to be an elementary school guidance counselor.
We have also decided that wes is going to start on his degree. I say start, but really he already is almost halfway done. He has taken courses on his deployments, and has a lot of college credits in the field of electronics with his training for the navy. So he is going to start working on his degree in electronics engineering from ECPI. Their program is excelerated, so he will be done ithin two years by taking 2 classes every 5 weeks. After he finishes that, he will be able to become an officer in the navy. Which leads us to our even biggest decision of them all.......
When he becomes an officer, he will have to go to OCS, which is officer candidate school, for 12 weeks. OCS is in annapolis maryland. After he completes that, he will have to do 24 weeks in Athens Georgia. During this time, me and the girls will be living in VA. Probably gonna rent a place for 6 months. After that, we will try for orders to san diego.
We think the next 3 years will be the best time for us to ogo to san diego. We want to live there for one 3 year tour in our life. We think its best to do it while the girls are still young. They will be 2 and 3 when we get there. That way, they will be 5 and 6 when we move to VA, and they can go to the same school system the rest of the time until they graduate, with the same friends and stuff.
So, thats our plan.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
caillou
I leave the tv on pbs sprout during the day from 12-2. Thats the only time bryleigh gets to watch tv. She watches sesame street, caillou and mama mirabells home movies. Well, she is playing while the tv is on. I have noticed she has a huge favorite, caillou. She even tries to sing the song. When the song starts, she claps her hands and jumps up and down. I love it :) Its one of my favorite parts of the day too.
I was at target the other day, and noticed their Huggies pure and natural diapers on clearance. It was only size 5 on clearance, but they were marked down from 19 dollars, to 10 dollars for the big pack. I got home yesterday and noticed that we have a coupon on the fridge for 3 dollars off any pack of huggies pure and natural diapers. So im gonna go up there tonight to get those. she JUST got into size 4, but im sure she will make it to size 5 before shes potty trained. Although, i will be okay with waisting the 7 dollars if she gets potty trained before then!!
Tonight for dinner we are having upside down chicken pot pie. I am really excited about this recipe, and i hope it turns out as delicious as it sounds!!!
I was at target the other day, and noticed their Huggies pure and natural diapers on clearance. It was only size 5 on clearance, but they were marked down from 19 dollars, to 10 dollars for the big pack. I got home yesterday and noticed that we have a coupon on the fridge for 3 dollars off any pack of huggies pure and natural diapers. So im gonna go up there tonight to get those. she JUST got into size 4, but im sure she will make it to size 5 before shes potty trained. Although, i will be okay with waisting the 7 dollars if she gets potty trained before then!!
Tonight for dinner we are having upside down chicken pot pie. I am really excited about this recipe, and i hope it turns out as delicious as it sounds!!!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Double Trouble
Well, both girls had to get shots today. Thats the beauty if them being 12 months apart, they are pretty much on the same shot schedule for right now. Brooklynn had her 4 month shots, and Bryleigh her 15 month shots. (shes really 16 months, but oh well)
We first talked about Bryleigh. She is now 22.5 lbs. I thought she was a little chunk, but apparently shes in the 50 percentile for weight, so the dr was very happy with that. Shes perfect :)
She is ear infection free, but we did talk about her constant yeast infections. She pretty much has had an ongoing yeast infection since birth. We have been given SEVERAL prescriptions and it goes away for a few days, and comes right back. The dr wants us to stop using wipes all together. She thinks its something in the wipes. Which we have switched to the most sensitive ones, all cloth wipes we can find. So now we will switch to just water and cloths with her. She thinks this is going to be something Bryleigh struggles with until she is out of diapers. Bryleigh told her thankyou when she handed her a book. She also said Hey to her when she walked in the door, and a few other things throughout the visit. Like all done when she got her shots, while she was crying lol. The dr said that bryleigh was extremely smart, and couldnt believe how well she could piece together words and phrases. It is such a wonderful feeling when someone compliments your baby. Makes you feel so proud as a parent.
And then she started asking questions about Brooklynn. She did say how calm and happy Brooklynn was. She said that her lack of being interested in toys right now is probably just the fact that she is so chill she just likes to lay and stare. She pointed out that she "can" reach for things, she just "chooses" not to. So i shouldnt worry. She said some babies are just very good content babies, and it doesnt take much to entertain them. Brooklynn is right where she should be developmentally, scooting along the floor, and rolling etc. She told us that we could go ahead and start rice cereal, but i told her i didnt think brooklynn was ready for that yet. I am more of a child led parent, and i believe she will show signs of being ready for the next stage before i should just give it to her. She is getting all the nutrition she needs through her formula right now, so we arent going to move to that stage just yet. I dont need to give her cereal at night to help her sleep longer, because she already sleeps long enough. She doesnt act like she is hungry beyond her normal feedings, so i just dont find it necessary yet. The dr agreed, and thought that was great. She said its perfectly fine to skip the cereal stage altogether, as long as we start vegetable solids by 7 months. Which is fine with us, we plan to start those at her 1/2 birthday :)
Anyways, my babies are healthy, happy and smart. Theres not much more i could ask for.
did i mention that we have the best pediatrician ever. She sat in there with us for 30 minutes talking, playing, and just being interested in what we had to say. She doesnt rush us or make us feel stupid, and she always talks about how her crazy kids did those silly things that bryleigh does to. She talks to us like she is our friend, and we appreciate that :)
We first talked about Bryleigh. She is now 22.5 lbs. I thought she was a little chunk, but apparently shes in the 50 percentile for weight, so the dr was very happy with that. Shes perfect :)
She is ear infection free, but we did talk about her constant yeast infections. She pretty much has had an ongoing yeast infection since birth. We have been given SEVERAL prescriptions and it goes away for a few days, and comes right back. The dr wants us to stop using wipes all together. She thinks its something in the wipes. Which we have switched to the most sensitive ones, all cloth wipes we can find. So now we will switch to just water and cloths with her. She thinks this is going to be something Bryleigh struggles with until she is out of diapers. Bryleigh told her thankyou when she handed her a book. She also said Hey to her when she walked in the door, and a few other things throughout the visit. Like all done when she got her shots, while she was crying lol. The dr said that bryleigh was extremely smart, and couldnt believe how well she could piece together words and phrases. It is such a wonderful feeling when someone compliments your baby. Makes you feel so proud as a parent.
And then she started asking questions about Brooklynn. She did say how calm and happy Brooklynn was. She said that her lack of being interested in toys right now is probably just the fact that she is so chill she just likes to lay and stare. She pointed out that she "can" reach for things, she just "chooses" not to. So i shouldnt worry. She said some babies are just very good content babies, and it doesnt take much to entertain them. Brooklynn is right where she should be developmentally, scooting along the floor, and rolling etc. She told us that we could go ahead and start rice cereal, but i told her i didnt think brooklynn was ready for that yet. I am more of a child led parent, and i believe she will show signs of being ready for the next stage before i should just give it to her. She is getting all the nutrition she needs through her formula right now, so we arent going to move to that stage just yet. I dont need to give her cereal at night to help her sleep longer, because she already sleeps long enough. She doesnt act like she is hungry beyond her normal feedings, so i just dont find it necessary yet. The dr agreed, and thought that was great. She said its perfectly fine to skip the cereal stage altogether, as long as we start vegetable solids by 7 months. Which is fine with us, we plan to start those at her 1/2 birthday :)
Anyways, my babies are healthy, happy and smart. Theres not much more i could ask for.
did i mention that we have the best pediatrician ever. She sat in there with us for 30 minutes talking, playing, and just being interested in what we had to say. She doesnt rush us or make us feel stupid, and she always talks about how her crazy kids did those silly things that bryleigh does to. She talks to us like she is our friend, and we appreciate that :)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Where did the weekend go?
Well another weekend has come and passed.. funny the rate of speed the weekends seem to fly by at...
Wes had to work both days this weekend, so i wouldn't even consider it a weekend lol. He did come home early today, but i would've rather the reason that he had to come home had no existed.
I got a spinal tap a month ago, as mentioned previously in my blog. Then i had to get a blood patch due to a post spinal headache. While the anesthesiologist was doing the blood patch he kept missing, and hitting something to the left of my spine... Well we now know that it was a nerve of some sort. It has continuously gotten worse at the site, and today i couldn't even walk. Literally. They wanted me to get a quick catscan to make sure it was nothing life threatening, like a spreading infection, and had an MRI scheduled to find out which nerve, disc, etc, and what exactly happened. I am feeling a little better right now, which is great.
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. Getting the routine shots for one baby is hard enough, tomorrow both my girls have to get their shots at the same time. Needless to say daddy is coming with us to this appt. I am NOT looking forward to this lol.
well, so long blogger buddies, so long.
Wes had to work both days this weekend, so i wouldn't even consider it a weekend lol. He did come home early today, but i would've rather the reason that he had to come home had no existed.
I got a spinal tap a month ago, as mentioned previously in my blog. Then i had to get a blood patch due to a post spinal headache. While the anesthesiologist was doing the blood patch he kept missing, and hitting something to the left of my spine... Well we now know that it was a nerve of some sort. It has continuously gotten worse at the site, and today i couldn't even walk. Literally. They wanted me to get a quick catscan to make sure it was nothing life threatening, like a spreading infection, and had an MRI scheduled to find out which nerve, disc, etc, and what exactly happened. I am feeling a little better right now, which is great.
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. Getting the routine shots for one baby is hard enough, tomorrow both my girls have to get their shots at the same time. Needless to say daddy is coming with us to this appt. I am NOT looking forward to this lol.
well, so long blogger buddies, so long.
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