I make babies, whats your superpower?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

super mom

I like to think or should i say.. pretend... sometimes that I'm supermom.. that i can get it all done. I try to tell myself so that maybe if i tell myself enough ill convince myself and become, indeed, supermom...

I wish I was the mom whose house stayed spotless, laundry stayed done AND folded AND put away, dinner was always ready at dinner time with the dishes already in the dishwasher, special learning activities already planned for the next day, happy kids all the time...... but im not...

i'm the car has old cookies on the floor board, crums in my purse from who knows what's snack from who knows when, try to plan activities but they often fail, my kids wear pajamas all the time because we go no where, kind of mom...

I am having one of those nights tonight where I want to be home.. in virginia. Virginia would make things so much better. Not virginia as the place, but virginia as the people. I have such a wonderful support system in virginia. So many people there ready and willing to help me, so many people that see my struggles and would be there in a second to lend a helping hand, or a quick pick me up... my troops..

I have these kind of nights when i start to feel overwhelmed. When the laundry gets too high, the kitchen is a mess from dinner, the toys are scattered everywhere, homework is so piled up that i dont even know where to begin... i get so overwhelmed that i shutdown...

Wes works so much that every chance i get i use it to just be lazy.. I steal minutes here and there that i should put towards doing a little of this thats productive and a little of that... and instead i use it to just lay in the silence..

I count down the months until its time to go back... once we hit the 1 year left point i will start counting down the days.

I cant wait til i can take my kids to my aunt Julies for a playdate with Isaac,

or to go to my cousin stacy's house and just have a nice long talk with her about the latest gymboree line while our kids play who knows what..

. I cant wait to have a night where I am sad, and call cecily to get in the car with me and go out for a drive to the beach at 2 a.m. ,

Or to be able to call Amy just to go get our nails done, or do dinner just because...

I cant wait to have my mom so excitedly and willingly beg us to let her have the girls for the weekend

I cant wait to be able to go drop by my aunt barbaras unexpected just because, and always know that I am welcome there..

I cant wait to snuggle and kiss my new niece that I havent got to meet yet..

I cant wait to sit on the beach with my husband late at night just looking at the stars and talking about all our goals and dreams..

I cant wait for my girls to start little league the same place that I played at for 13 years...

I cant wait to eat at Kyotos.. oh how i long for some kyotos..

I cant wait to go to the place where there is so much love.. so many people that love my babies.. so many people...

I know life will get hard there too. I know that once we get back to virginia means deployments for wes... But the deployments dont worry me, because I know everything will be okay. I know that I have so much family there that will be there for me through those deployments.. Family that will be so excited when we get home. Thats a good feeling.

Supermom doesnt get overwhelmed.. super mom never needs people.. supermom wants to be around her darling kids 24/7 and always has a smile on her face when she does it..

Sorry for my big long rant.. Having no one to talk to out here is kinda a tough thing.. I guess I feel like my blog is my therapy session, my chance to talk to somebody, anybody.. even if the blog doesnt respond.


  1. There is no such thing as "super" mom...she doesn't exist! She's only in your head trying to make you feel inadequate. But you are bry & brooke's mom. You are THEIRS. To them, you are the world. You are their food, shelter, love and fun...you are their everything. And THAT, is all that matters. Keep up the great work momma. :) Love you girl!

  2. Thank you so much for the response Kristi. It feels good being so important to them, and being everything to them.