I make babies, whats your superpower?

Monday, November 1, 2010

Long weekend..

I really enjoyed the last 3 days. Wes was actually home with us for 3 DAYS STRAIGHT!!! Crazy.. We are used to only getting 1 day a week with him, so that was a nice treat! We tried to use all the time we could just laughing and playing and having fun with our babies. We went "simming in de poo" as bryleigh calls it... She is such a water baby. The YMCA that is about 30 minutes away from us has this extremely nice indoor waterpark with a lazy river, slide, little beach for toddlers and everything! so much fun! Bryleigh loves that she can play in the beach part and not have to be held or in a float. She loves "splash splashing" and then swimming around the lazy river while i hold her hands and she kicks her feet as hard as she can.

Saturday night we went to a harvest party at some of wes' old friends that he grew up with house. There was a lot of food and a hay ride. Bryleigh loved the hay ride, Brooklynn however, didn't.... She cried, and cried, and cried... And just when i thought it was coming to an end, they said they were going to go for 20 more minutes. I thought I was going to cry. I do not like when my babies cry. Especially Brooklynn... Not because I love her any more than Bryleigh, she is just my easy baby... She does not cry...ever... Which is why I think we have such a hard time when she is upset. She is such an easy baby, that we never have to really soothe her from being so upset... Of course we give her snuggles and rock her and cuddle her every chance we get, but its rarely to try to calm her down... So when she is upset, shes really upset.. and she wants nothing lol. She just wants to cry. which like i said, is rare... like once a year.. lol

Then last night was of course, halloween... I didnt let wes see it, but i definitely shed a few tears when Bryleigh went up to her first house, knocked, and so proudly stuck her pumpkin bucket out for some candy... It was one of those bittersweet moments and I was such a proud mommy of my adorable little monkey. But it never failed that at every house we went to when i told the candy giver thankyou, Bryleigh loudly yelled "YOUR WELCOME!"

And there was the few times that when Bryleigh got to the persons door she was trying to give some of her candy to them... and she got very upset when the person at the door would not take her candy from her.... oh my child.. my sweet sweet girl.

I dont feel like putting up pictures, but I have some really cute ones to put up... Those can wait til tomorrow... I'm going night night!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

super mom

I like to think or should i say.. pretend... sometimes that I'm supermom.. that i can get it all done. I try to tell myself so that maybe if i tell myself enough ill convince myself and become, indeed, supermom...

I wish I was the mom whose house stayed spotless, laundry stayed done AND folded AND put away, dinner was always ready at dinner time with the dishes already in the dishwasher, special learning activities already planned for the next day, happy kids all the time...... but im not...

i'm the car has old cookies on the floor board, crums in my purse from who knows what's snack from who knows when, try to plan activities but they often fail, my kids wear pajamas all the time because we go no where, kind of mom...

I am having one of those nights tonight where I want to be home.. in virginia. Virginia would make things so much better. Not virginia as the place, but virginia as the people. I have such a wonderful support system in virginia. So many people there ready and willing to help me, so many people that see my struggles and would be there in a second to lend a helping hand, or a quick pick me up... my troops..

I have these kind of nights when i start to feel overwhelmed. When the laundry gets too high, the kitchen is a mess from dinner, the toys are scattered everywhere, homework is so piled up that i dont even know where to begin... i get so overwhelmed that i shutdown...

Wes works so much that every chance i get i use it to just be lazy.. I steal minutes here and there that i should put towards doing a little of this thats productive and a little of that... and instead i use it to just lay in the silence..

I count down the months until its time to go back... once we hit the 1 year left point i will start counting down the days.

I cant wait til i can take my kids to my aunt Julies for a playdate with Isaac,

or to go to my cousin stacy's house and just have a nice long talk with her about the latest gymboree line while our kids play who knows what..

. I cant wait to have a night where I am sad, and call cecily to get in the car with me and go out for a drive to the beach at 2 a.m. ,

Or to be able to call Amy just to go get our nails done, or do dinner just because...

I cant wait to have my mom so excitedly and willingly beg us to let her have the girls for the weekend

I cant wait to be able to go drop by my aunt barbaras unexpected just because, and always know that I am welcome there..

I cant wait to snuggle and kiss my new niece that I havent got to meet yet..

I cant wait to sit on the beach with my husband late at night just looking at the stars and talking about all our goals and dreams..

I cant wait for my girls to start little league the same place that I played at for 13 years...

I cant wait to eat at Kyotos.. oh how i long for some kyotos..

I cant wait to go to the place where there is so much love.. so many people that love my babies.. so many people...

I know life will get hard there too. I know that once we get back to virginia means deployments for wes... But the deployments dont worry me, because I know everything will be okay. I know that I have so much family there that will be there for me through those deployments.. Family that will be so excited when we get home. Thats a good feeling.


Supermom doesnt get overwhelmed.. super mom never needs people.. supermom wants to be around her darling kids 24/7 and always has a smile on her face when she does it..


Sorry for my big long rant.. Having no one to talk to out here is kinda a tough thing.. I guess I feel like my blog is my therapy session, my chance to talk to somebody, anybody.. even if the blog doesnt respond.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

terrible twos..



Lifes not always rainbows and butterflies... Sometimes its temper tantrums, half eaten cookies in the couch cushions, laundry pilled up to the ceiling, down right madness..

The toddler tantrums have really been getting to me lately. Bryleigh is such a strong willed child.. She always has been... seriously.. since birth.. (see picture --> )

Bryleigh takes a "my way or the highway" approach at life... She thinks she rules this house, and there is nobody that can tell her different.

I blame myself. I try and try to be consistent with her. I. try. so. hard. She thinks that everything is hers. If I have a drink, she tries to snatch it while yelling "ITS MINE!" or "NO NO MOMMA ITS MINE".... Then I put my drink back on the table out of her reach, and tell her that is not nice, and she does her very angry whiney voice until she finds something else to get into...

I feel like lately I cant do anything with her that is fun because she just gets mad... I feel like if i plan an activity, where its just her and I doing something special, the majority of the time I am getting on her about her attitude...

I know this is part of having a toddler.. I know that this is going to be the hardest toddler I probably will ever deal with.. I know that my sweet sweet Brooklynn does not have this same attitude so that gives me some hope that I wont have to go through this twice.. I know that Bryleigh is extremely intelligent, and I think that plays a part in her extreme desire for control... (I see her and Brooklynn being very much like pinky and the brain one day)...












I know that everything will work out.. And I know that I love Bryleigh so much for who she is, strong willed, independent, free spirited and all...


Even though my toddler throws tantrums.... I often find cookies in the couch cushions, and sometimes laundry gets piled up very high.... sometimes, life is rainbows and butterflies...



(Bryleigh picked out this outfit) and decided the skirt looked really nice over her head...















Monday, October 25, 2010

Today my girl..

I had a paper to write today so the girls spent a few hours at Aunt Cheyannes... As nice as it is to have someone to call on when I need the time to do something, there never seems to be enough time to get it all done.. But I am learning slowly that being a mom isnt about getting EVERYTHING done on time. Being a mom means sometimes putting work aside and sometimes missing deadlines, to make sure that your kids get your undivided attention. Just because I am trying to finish school, I dont want their few years of me being at home to be remembered as late nights writing papers, or stressing about the laundry.. I want it to be remembered for all the good times we had, the things we did together, the time we spent....




When the girls got home, Brooklynn was ready for a nap so that gave mommy and Bryleigh some time together. I think she enjoys this special time. She acts like she doesnt like to have her picture taken, but I think deep down she loves the extra attention.




This is her "sweet, I just got busted" face... She is not supposed to be in this cabinet. She knows that this cabinet holds the machines that change the channel to the TV, so if something is on other than Elmo or Caillou, she immediately goes for it..


Bryleigh is starting to really like her puzzles. I love to hear her say all their names... Zebra, Buppo (Hippo lol), giraffe, Bors (bears).... I am trying to teach her to be patient and take her time when she tries to force them into the holes... Thats easier said than done with a 1 year old!



And finally.... I just thought these were cute...


I want...

I have been doing a lot of reading lately.. crafts, cooking, baking, loving...

I am inspired.

I want to be the kind of mom that goes the extra mile to do the fun things with her kids. To build those memories for them, to teach them, to love them with every thing I have.

I want to constantly improve my bond with my girls. I want them to have fun, to really enjoy their childhood. I want to give them not only memories in their minds, but memories through photography, and my writings..

I want them to be close. Sisters who are best friends. I dream of them having conversations one day with each other complaining about their husbands, or sharing recipes. Calling each other at 3am for advice about something that really doesnt matter. Being there holding the others hand when they are having their first child. Standing next to them at the Alter holding their bouquet while they marry their prince charming...

Thank you God for giving me TWO daughters. Thank you for that amazing gift that you have given each of them, a sister. Thank you for teaching me to love with everything that I have, so that they may also learn how to love. Thank you for the opportunity to raise such sweet, perfect, beautiful little girls.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Weekly Meal Planning.. It begins again..

Monday: Healthy Chicken pot pies.. I found this recipe for single chicken pot pies, so i think it will be a good excuse to use my little dipper bakeware for rachael ray. these pot pies are approx 500 calories a piece, which is great for a full dinner meal.

Tuesday: Hamburger buddy.. I found this recipe on one of the recipes i get ideas for kids recipes on.. I want to recommend this to those of you with picky toddlers, my toddler loves it, and it is full of veggies, and only 326 calories per serving! not to mention, wes and I love it. I dont food process the veggies, i just chop them nice and small.

http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/hamburger_buddy.html

Wednesday: white chicken enchiladas... big time family favorite.. 628 calories per serving.. not bad, a little higher than we aim for, but ya gotta cheat once in a while :)

Thursday: Chicken on the grill, brown rice, broccoli

Friday: Hamburgers on the grill. I have been craving hamburgers since I had my surgery... I hope by Friday I am well enough to bite into a nice juicy big grilled hamburger!!!

Saturday: Potato/sausage skillet meal. This one is yummy and includes spinach. We dont like spinach much, but in this meal you dont even know its there. 530 calories per serving.

Sunday: Chili

As you can see, most of the meals planned are soft.. lol. Thats all I can eat. Hopefully by next weekend I'll be good as new!

Back to the drawing board.. part 2

Another positive thing that has come from my surgery is weight loss. Not my most recommended way of losing weight, but hey, whatever works i guess... I was at 167 before I had my surgery, I am now at 158. I was 153 lbs before I got pregnant with bryleigh, and have always been about 147 my whole life... I gained a few lbs before i got pregnant with bryleigh lol.

I am now more motivated than ever to lose that last 5 lbs. I can see the finish line, and oh man i want it so bad.

Here are my strategies:

Since the surgery, I have been weaned off of soda. All i drink is water, and the occasional gatorade, and 1 warm tea a night to help my throat. The tea is not caffeinated. So i plan to stick to these drinks. I like water now.. wierd. I figure in this way I will be saving at least several hundred calories per day.

We found a perfectly working exercise bike on the side of the road that someone was giving away. It has the time/calories burned/ etc. program on it too! I plan to start riding it 20 minutes when i wake up, during naptime, and before i go to bed. That will be an hour per day, which calculates to about 400/calories burned.

Lastly, I plan to start working on our meal choices better. I cook everynight, but sometimes what we have isnt as healthy as it could be. So back to the drawing board. Back to meal planning, and only buying the healthy stuff at the grocery store.

Well, wish me luck!

Back to the drawing board..

I had my tonsils and adenoids taken out on 10/7.... I am on day 11 and still in remarkable pain at times, and other times im okay. There is a spot behind my tongue that doesnt seem to be healing. Everytime i talk or swallow, the sore comes open again, shoots pain through my ears, and i have to hold my face/ears for at least 10 minutes curled up, trying hard not to scream in agony.

Anyways, thats the negative part..

The positive part- I have beeen able to rest, and sleep, a lot.

As most of you know, I had a really hard time with my mom the first year we were here. She has a pretty bad personality disorder, and the doctors were not able to find a good balance of meds to have her on. It was making her life really hard, and in turn, she was living at my house. So i had to take care of my babies and her. Anyways, it was rough.

Well, since she moved back the last time, back to virginia, she has landed a great job, gotten her own house, bought a car, and found the right doctors. Her meds are excellent, and she is doing so great. I cry to think how proud of her I am.

She flew down here the day before my surgery to help me the week after. She was such a huge help. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the girls. Never complaining or upset that i wasnt able to spend much time with her, although i felt terrible that i couldnt see her as much as i wanted. I cried when i said goodbye to her. I didnt want her to see me cry, i just knew that I had my happy, healthy mom back, and it felt really good.

I am so thankful for all that she did while she was here. I could not have got through that week without her. I pray that these meds continue to work, and she continues to stay happy.

Friday, September 17, 2010

ch chhh chhh changes

Big changes are coming my way. BIG changes....

My cuddler, my sweetheart, my easy easy easy child, my BABY is now crawling. My baby. It still melts my heart everytime to see her going, because shes like a new baby learning how to walk with her crawling, she falls over, and splats face first into the floor, and tries so hard, and everytime she finally gets where she wanted to she looks at me with the biggest grin to make sure I was watching. Oh I love that kid. So now that shes crawling, she has also mastered getting herself into the sit up position. And since shes been able to pull up on things for a little while now, now that she can do the two things that were supposed to come BEFORE pulling up, she can actually put it to use. Every morning when i go to get her up she is standing in her crib smiling just waiting for me. Brooklynn says momma, dada, and byebye. I think she is trying to say quack too because shes always gotten really excited to hear a duck quack on a cartoon, or if we say quack to her she laughs so hard. So recently when she hears quack she says cack a few times.

As much as i wanted her to start crawling, a part of it saddens me. When Bryleigh started crawling, it was all over... Her baby-ness was over. She was crawling, and soon after was walking, and now shes almost 2 going on 20. Brooklynn is mommas little baby... I just cant believe she is getting so big so fast. I feel like I just had her. Soon she will figure out that with her newfound ability to crawl she can get into everything... soon after that she will be walking, and talking...

Todays Funny Story:

The other day brooklynn was sitting by the kitchen watching me cook. Bryleigh had on footy pajamas that were slippery on the kitchen floor. She ran through the living room and into the kitchen and wiped out. She fell down so hard just right on her butt. While Bryleigh found this to be a terrible traumatic experience, Brooklynn thought it was HILARIOUS. Brooklynn laughed SO hard, like ive never heard her laugh before. I was trying so hard to console Bryleigh but couldnt help but laugh a little at Brooklynns amazing "little sister" ability.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Today... a typical Friday?

Not even close.......


Tonight was about as close to an adventure as we ever have in our household... Once you get passed all the chasing, changing, feeding, playing, crying and laughter that goes on with having two small kids in the house, life around here is pretty boring... I like boring.. Boring is routine and predictable, boring is always safe..

Today was different from the very beginning, wes was off work...

Once a year Independence Missouri has this huge fair called Santi Caligon.. It is a celebration of Independence Missouri being the starting point of the Oregon Trails. Its this huge even with TONS of venders that sell the crafts/clothes/food they make, concerts, a carnival, and TONS of yummy food. It is jam packed, and a ton of fun. I love the feel of the small town life that it brings about. Everyone is happy and acts like they all know each other there. People travel a long way to come to this thing, and it is by far one of the coolest events ive ever been to.. It goes on for 4 days.

It opened at noon today, so we made sure to get there right at noon to walk the tents and have a good time at santa cali gon. I bought a casserole in a bag for chicken almond casserole, and a steak/chicken rub that tasted pretty delish. They had a lot of cute baby things, but I am too cheap for the stuff they were selling at such high prices.

We got home at 2 in time for my nieces to get here. I have been having a lot of trouble with the youngest niece Nova who is almost 7 months old. She has been exclusively breastfed since birth and is now getting switched to bottle fed which she is not liking very much. She was pretty much refusing to eat at all the past few times I have had her, so she screams forever. She is a very loud screamer also.. So if I have got 3 out of the 4 babies to sleep, and she starts to scream, the whole house wakes up. This happens everytime she is here and it makes me cry. Well today she did really well. She only screamed for about 30 minutes instead of 2 hours, and took a really good nap. She even drank a little of her bottle.

After the girls left is when our adventure began. I cooked dinner, and then asked wes if he wanted to go to the local bowling alley because they were having 99 cent games. We went and bowled 2 games and it only cost us 4 dollars to bowl. I thought we were having such a great family outting. Bryleigh did great at the bowling alley, she walked back and forth with us while we bowled yellling HOORAY, YAHOO, or OH NO if we missed.

We got to the car to leave with our two babies, and found out that wes had locked the keys in the car. We called OnStar and they couldnt help us because we never activated it. This was rough. We had our two babies, and we were stuck at this ghetto place at nighttime with no car. ArGH!
A while later we were rescued by Wes' brother and we came to the house to get our extra key.

This is why i like routine.... Crazy stuff always happens when we try to take the girls out. Next time I will know to just stay home and play parcheesi.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I think its that time..

Its been a while since my last post... I have a few minutes now to myself for a change, and figure i would update my blog.

THis has been such a busy summer... May 31st was our anniversary and Wes and I took a 4 day trip to Los Angeles to celebrate. We try to do that once a year where just him and I get away for a few days alone... We love our kids, and the minute we are away from them we miss them like crazy and they are all we talk about, but I think the time alone for the two of us is important too.

In June we went to Florida so that my dad and Florida family could meet Brooklynn, and see us and bryleigh as well. It went okay. I really enjoyed seeing my step sister Kayla. I hope one day we can see each other more.

In July I went to Virginia with Brooklynn for a week. I loved this trip. I missed bryleigh SOOOO bad it was rough, but great to see friends and family at home.

In August Bryleigh and I went to Delaware to see the girls from olive branch play in the little league world series!!! I was SO proud of those girls. What an accomplishment!

Next week the four of us finally all get to take a trip together. We are going to Branson Missouri for 4 days just to relax and spend time together as a family. I look forward to the pool time, and taking Bryleigh to the aquarium so she can see the "shishies" thats what she calls fish.

It has been a busy, eventful summer. I have had a lot of fun, but look forward to the weather cooling off and routine coming back our way. My girls have really gotten older and smarter this summer.

Bryleigh has so many words added to her vocabulary each day. She pee pees on the potty every now and then. Not consistently, but i think she is getting it. She is still young so i am not forcing anything, just let her decide when she wants to. I ask her every couple hours if she has to use the potty.. Sometimes she says yes, sometimes she ignores me. She is sweet and has become a lot more loving towards Brooklynn. When brooke cries bryleigh tries to give her cuddles and kisses to make it all better.

Brooklynn has really been starting to do things lately. In the last couple of weeks she has started to get up on all fours, pulls up on her crib bars and stands, gets herself to a sitting up position, and rolls allllllll over the place.. she rolls wherever she wants to go. and she is quick too. She now says momma and dada, and is still as sweet as she can be.

Wes is still working crazy long hours, and even working all day today which is a saturday. blah. I cant wait til we can be on a ship again..

Well, thats all I got... Hope everyone has enjoyed their summer!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Throw it in

Today I had ground beef thawed out. I had been thinking off and on all day about what i wanted to do with it. By dinnertime i still hadnt decided, so i decided to just throw things together, and hope foro the best. I went to the garden and picked 5 carrots, and a medium sized onion.. cut some oregeno leaves, and some parsley.... decided id just go with it. This particular recipe i was able to keep trying it until it tasted just right.. and boy did it turn out delicious.. It took about 35 minutes, but that was only because i was trying to feed two babies, cook, and all the other fun stuff that comes up while youre trying to do something with 2 kids!

Its another one skillet meal i have named: Throw it in the pan!

Ingredients:

3 large carrots sliced pretty thin, (I had about 5 smaller ones from the garden because our garden carrots havent gotten THAT big due to be planted so close together)
1 lb ground beef
1 medium onion
2 cups of instant white rice
2 beef bullion cubes, or 2 cups of beef broth
2 cups of water if using bullion cubes
good sprinkle of oregeno
good sprinkle of parsley
salt

1) put ground beef, carrots and onions into skillet until hamburger is brown. Drain pretty good to get the excess grease off. Return to skillet

2) add rice, oregano, parsley, 2 beef bullion cubes, and two cups of water to skillet, stir VERY good often

3) you might need to add a little more water if all the water gets absorbed before the rice gets good and done

4) once all rice is done, sprinkle with salt to taste, and stir really good.. and walla..


We are really big rice eaters, so everyone in this house loved this meal. Bryleigh especially. I can always judge a meal on if bryleigh sits in her highchair saying NUM NUM NUM after every bite. She even ate the onions lol

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Ashleighs Recipes

I have set a goal for myself for the next week. Every night of the week, *other than Tuesday because i have a 4 hour class* I am going to create and prepare a new recipe that I have never made before.

I am going to create these recipes myself, and i expect there to be nights where we decide that i should add something to them, take something out etc. I try to come up with quick, easy recipes with normal items most people have at home. I also try to make everything that a toddler would eat too that way i dont have to cook twice for us, and bryleigh. I am going to type these recipes in here, and for those of you that follow this, if you decide to try it, let me know what you think...

I started this new goal this afternoon while the babies were sleeping. This is a one skillet meal called...............

Cheesy Chicken and Potato goodness

Ingredients:

Two golden potatos, scalloped. (sliced VERY thin)
2 chicken breasts, sliced into approx 8 pieces per chicken or so
a cup of green beans- I like the french style canned green beans, but im sure any would do.
2 slices of bacon cooked and cut up into very small pieces
3 tablespoons or so of oil
salt and pepper
sage
2 1/2 cups of water
1/2 cup of milk
1 cup of cheese of your choice. I used cheddar and jack.
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

sprinkle sage, salt and pepper onto chicken
1) heat oil in a large skillet and cook the chicken until its done.
2) Add milk, water, and sliced potatoes to skillet and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cook for about 7 minutes.
3) Add cheese and garlic powder, stir very well.
4) let cook on low until cheese is nice and melted in the mixture, and potatoes are tender.
5) Add cooked bacon, green beans or corn or vegetable of your choice and mix well. Let cook another 3 minutes.

SERVE.

It might sound kind of odd to some, but it was actually delicious. Wes loved it, Bryleigh loved it, and I loved it. What i would do differently is add corn and green beans, and some onions.. probably green onions. I would definitely cook this again. From start to finish it was about 30 minutes.

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Brookie Monster

My beautiful, sweet, cuddly baby girl turned 6 months old yesterday. She still has one of the most calm, easy going temperments I have ever seen in a baby. She is learning something new everyday it seems. She has really mastered the art of picking things up with more her thumb and pointer finger, and passes an object from hand to hand really well. She sits up with no support at all for several minutes before toppling over, (Poor girl has a big head, it weighs her down lol). She loves to look at people and socialize. Everyone is funny according to Brooklynn. She smiles at any stranger she sees.

There are several things that Brooklynn is not doing that Bryleigh could do at much earlier stages. I find myself thinking about this more than I should. Not so much worrying, just unfortunately comparing. All babies are different. I know. But sometimes, when it comes to YOUR baby, you worry. You forget to relax, be patient, and trust. Brooklynn will NOT do tummy time. I do tummy time everyday since she was born, and everyday she screams. It is the only thing that really upsets her. Now that she has mastered rolling over, when i put her on tummy time she immediately, and i mean immediately rolls to her back. I have learned new techniques to keep her on tummy time. Such as rolling her on a big ball, etc... At this age Bryleigh was able to get on all fours, or crawl position. Brooklynn could care less about crawling. Oh well, all in her own time! There are so many things that she does that bryleigh did not do however. Brooklynn goes to sleep foro naps without screaming for an hour. She sleeps great, cuddles, smiles and laughs everyday. She has been exceptionally easy, and I would not trade her for the world!!!!!! I would take the ease of Brooklynn over those simple milestones early any day! I wouldnt trade Bryleigh in for anything either obviously lol. I guess I have the best of both worlds! I have decided that brooklynn is just lazy and content, and will move when she decides shes bored enough. She does reach foro everything, and if she cant get it, she rolls to it. So maybe she will just be a roller.

We are starting solids officially tomorrow. The same day we will be starting "potty training with bob 101" for mommy. This is going to be interesting for me and bryleigh. I've never potty trained so much as a puppy much less a child. This could probably make for good entertainment.

Well all my rambling you could probably tell I havent had much sleep. So goodnight

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bryleigh the singer lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfUMmMZnHuI
video

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

how fast it goes

Recently i discovered something else.. My daughter speaks english now. Crazy to think about how much better she is communicating. I am so proud of my little girl. She surprises me everyday with how much she understands and everything she has stored in her little brain. I wish i could learn that fast. She is 17 months, and she can already tell me what a monkey, dog, cat, duck, cow, bird and horse says. She knows where her eyes, ears, mouth, nose, toes, tummy and bellybutton is. She knows the difference between cats, dogs, monkeys, bunnies and several other animals. She can count to 3, and will repeat me up to 10. She can hum the whole tune of elmos world, and a lot of the sesame street theme song. She knows that she is supposed to pee pee in the potty, but i dont think shes quite got the bladder control for it. She can say 3 word phrases (example: thats not nice), along with understand a lot more than i think she does. Today daddy said come give me hugs, and she came and gave him hugs with her arms wide open and a big grin on her face. She tries to put diapers on all her stuffed animals lol.

Anyways, Im so proud of her. I hope that in life she never settles for less than brilliance. Because i will always see her as brilliant.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Where is home?

I had a realization the other day. It was a random moment, an Ah Ha! moment... Wes, me, and the girls drove to walmart, and on the way home he started talking about something that he used to do on Noland road... and he kept talking, but i was away in never never land thinking... Thinking about how just last year i wouldnt have known what or where noland road was.. or who he was talking about..

I used to joke with people at the casino where i worked that the only place i knew how to get to was the Walmart... which was true for the longest time.. I didnt go anywhere.. I hated everything out here except my husband and daughter. (pre brooklynn time).. But now i feel like i can get most anywhere... I'm more comfortable.

I thought about how I didnt go to bed sad anymore from hating it here so much. There was a situation going on out here for a long time that kept me extremely sad. It made me insecure towards everyone because i didnt know who all was buying into all the crap going on, and who wasnt. Now that that is gone, everything has been steadily getting better.

I realized that night that this is home now. I'm much more comfortable here. I have learned who I can trust, and who to distance myself and my family from. I have learned where the drama comes from, and i stay away from it. I have developed a great friendship out here, and that makes it a million times better. My relationship with my mother in law is great, and i wish it could have been that way the whole time. It was hard to see who is who when you have shut everyone out altogether because of everything that was happening.

Life out here has become very easy, and nice.

Home will always be wherever my husband and my babies are. Theres no where else id rather be at the end of the day than in bed with my husband, or with my girls. That can be here, Virginia, or Kenya. I dont care...

On that note.. goodnight

Monday, June 7, 2010

Lately I have been having a struggle with Bryleigh. Ever since we got back from our trip, she has been acting different. She has been fussy, angry, and aggressive. This is not the baby girl that i left before our trip to california. We have done a great job getting back on schedule, but when she is awake she is acting like a terror. I wish she could put into words whatever it is that is bothering her. I hate feeling like I constantly have to tell her No-no, or be nice.

This morning she kicked brooklynn twice, hit her twice, and wacked her on the head with a book. I have made it very clear to Bryleigh that this behavior is not okay. She will look me in the eyes, and at the same time very carefully put her foot over brooklynns head, and try to step down. I of course am able to get to her and stop her most of the time before she does this, but none the less, she still tries. None of my tactics were working today so finally i put her in her crib for a little while after one of her incidents so I could feed Brooklynn a bottle. When i got done, i got bryleigh up from her "time out" and she acted perfectly fine, like a little angel. I think the jealousy is really starting towards Brooklynn. She has never had a problem with this until now. I try everyday to make sure i am spending a plenty of one on one time with Bryleigh, but even when I am just focusing my attention to her, she will find brooklynn and try to hit her, or bite her, or kick her. Whether I am staring at her or not, she doesnt care. I am assuming she is testing her bounderies, over and over, and over again. I try to redirect her, but she is always a woman on a mission. She is very determined, and whatever it is she is trying to do, she WILL go do it once she has made it a goal. Ho hum. Bryleigh has been a very strong willed child since birth, and i know this is only the beginning. I tell her how good she is being, and praise her often. I try to make sure I am praising her more than the negative words like "no mam", or "thats not nice". I let her touch brooklynn, and show her how to be gentle. She tells her sister "nigh nigh Dookynn" every night and gives her a kiss. I know she can be a gentle, loving, sweet little girl.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

trippppppp

wow was that a fun, fast, exciting 5 days i just had.

When we had Bryleigh, as all parents know, our alone time came to a sudden end. And even though Bryleigh and Brooklynn are the most important things in our lives, we decided to make it a tradition to take a trip just the two of us every year even if it is only a weekend getaway.. I think that time together is really important. We decided that we would have this getaway the weekend of our anniversary each year. The first year we went to branson missouri for 2 nights. That was an awesome trip. All i remember about that trip was getting the chance to sleep. Because for those oof you that knew bryleigh as a baby, sleep wasnt something she did often. Crying, that was her thing. lol. (She had EXTREME colic until 6 months). So we slept for pretty much 2 days. That was nice. This trip was way different. WAY DIFFERENT..

This year we decided to spend 3 nights in los angeles. I had always wanted to go there, so this really was a dream come true. We got up at 4am saturday morning, and the plane left at 6. We got to LA by 9am, so we had the whole day! We started out by going to the farmers market, then to beverly hills to do some sight seeing/shopping/ eating.

As soon as we finished that, we checked in to our hotel, and left right away and headed to the santa monica pier. We rode these awesome low mini bike things all around the pier. Then we rode all the carnival rides. That night we ate dinner at a famous hot dog joint called Pinks hot dogs in beverly hills. Apparently all the celebs go there. We pretty much stood in line for an hour for a hot dog that wasnt that great lol. After that we went to sleep, because we had been up since 2 am LA time.

The next day we got up really early and left for San Diego. We went to ride go carts first, which was sooo much fun. I have had to watch on the side lines foro the last 2 years due to pregnancy, so it was awesome to be able to actually get in on the action! After go carts we went to a huge water park. They had some of the nicest water rides i had ever seen. We had a lot of fun there. Then we went and had sushi, and checked out the navy base, and looked at some houses in the san diego area for the future. We found one we really liked, so we got the flier there and it was 1.8 million dollars... well, thats not going to work out. lol. After all that, we headed back for the night.

Monday was our packed day! We got up bright and early and headed to Universal studios hollywood. We rode rides, took the studio tour and had a really good time. We were there for 4 hours then had to go to the WB set tour that we had reservations for. I got to walk through the sets of Friends, two and a half men, the mentalist, Ellen, and many others. That might have been my favorite part of the trip, not sure, there were many good times.

next we went straight to six flags. WOW. There is a new ride there, a prototype rollercoaster. The first one ofo its kind. It was 5 dimensional, and flipped and turned all different ways, like literally. If you start off in the front row, you will be in the back row within a second. you go backwards, spin on the track, flip, etc, all in one ride. not only do the loops flip you over, but the "cart" itself flips over on the track. It had a 90 degree drop, and i have never in my life screamed on a ride out of fear, until then. I loved it. Six flags magic mountain had the best roller coasters i had ever seen, and im soo glad we packed this day so full and were able to go.

Tuesday we walked around hollywood blvd looking at the walk of fame, and also visited the hollywood sign. Our flight out of LA was delayed, and it caused us to miss our connecting flight out ofo dallas. I was soooo sad. I just wanted to hold my babies soooo bad that i cried. Although the staff at american airlines was ridiculously rude to everyone on the flight, they did provide us with hotel accomodations and dinner/breakfast vouchers. We got in at 9 this morning, and i was soo thrilled to see my girls.

Now they are sleeping, and that is where i am going.

Monday, May 17, 2010

its been while...

I havent had many chances to blog lately. I have sat down and started typing a couple of times in the past week or so, and then someone cries, or wakes up, or falls down etc, and i forget what i was doing lol.

Wes and i have been doing a lot of talking, and planning for our future lately. Its so hard, with kids, to make decisions. It's not all about me anymore, and its not all about him. So we have to think so carefully about the decisions we make, to ensure we are making the best possible one for our kids sake.

One of the big decisions we have made, is that I am starting school again. I have a year to go until i finish my bachelors, and we found the perfect school that goes right along with RBC's curriculum pretty much, so i was able to transfer everything in. I start the 21st, and i will be done in May of next year. After that, we will decide if i want to join the navy as an officer, or get my Masters in Counseling education to be an elementary school guidance counselor.

We have also decided that wes is going to start on his degree. I say start, but really he already is almost halfway done. He has taken courses on his deployments, and has a lot of college credits in the field of electronics with his training for the navy. So he is going to start working on his degree in electronics engineering from ECPI. Their program is excelerated, so he will be done ithin two years by taking 2 classes every 5 weeks. After he finishes that, he will be able to become an officer in the navy. Which leads us to our even biggest decision of them all.......

When he becomes an officer, he will have to go to OCS, which is officer candidate school, for 12 weeks. OCS is in annapolis maryland. After he completes that, he will have to do 24 weeks in Athens Georgia. During this time, me and the girls will be living in VA. Probably gonna rent a place for 6 months. After that, we will try for orders to san diego.

We think the next 3 years will be the best time for us to ogo to san diego. We want to live there for one 3 year tour in our life. We think its best to do it while the girls are still young. They will be 2 and 3 when we get there. That way, they will be 5 and 6 when we move to VA, and they can go to the same school system the rest of the time until they graduate, with the same friends and stuff.

So, thats our plan.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

caillou

I leave the tv on pbs sprout during the day from 12-2. Thats the only time bryleigh gets to watch tv. She watches sesame street, caillou and mama mirabells home movies. Well, she is playing while the tv is on. I have noticed she has a huge favorite, caillou. She even tries to sing the song. When the song starts, she claps her hands and jumps up and down. I love it :) Its one of my favorite parts of the day too.

I was at target the other day, and noticed their Huggies pure and natural diapers on clearance. It was only size 5 on clearance, but they were marked down from 19 dollars, to 10 dollars for the big pack. I got home yesterday and noticed that we have a coupon on the fridge for 3 dollars off any pack of huggies pure and natural diapers. So im gonna go up there tonight to get those. she JUST got into size 4, but im sure she will make it to size 5 before shes potty trained. Although, i will be okay with waisting the 7 dollars if she gets potty trained before then!!

Tonight for dinner we are having upside down chicken pot pie. I am really excited about this recipe, and i hope it turns out as delicious as it sounds!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Double Trouble

Well, both girls had to get shots today. Thats the beauty if them being 12 months apart, they are pretty much on the same shot schedule for right now. Brooklynn had her 4 month shots, and Bryleigh her 15 month shots. (shes really 16 months, but oh well)

We first talked about Bryleigh. She is now 22.5 lbs. I thought she was a little chunk, but apparently shes in the 50 percentile for weight, so the dr was very happy with that. Shes perfect :)
She is ear infection free, but we did talk about her constant yeast infections. She pretty much has had an ongoing yeast infection since birth. We have been given SEVERAL prescriptions and it goes away for a few days, and comes right back. The dr wants us to stop using wipes all together. She thinks its something in the wipes. Which we have switched to the most sensitive ones, all cloth wipes we can find. So now we will switch to just water and cloths with her. She thinks this is going to be something Bryleigh struggles with until she is out of diapers. Bryleigh told her thankyou when she handed her a book. She also said Hey to her when she walked in the door, and a few other things throughout the visit. Like all done when she got her shots, while she was crying lol. The dr said that bryleigh was extremely smart, and couldnt believe how well she could piece together words and phrases. It is such a wonderful feeling when someone compliments your baby. Makes you feel so proud as a parent.

And then she started asking questions about Brooklynn. She did say how calm and happy Brooklynn was. She said that her lack of being interested in toys right now is probably just the fact that she is so chill she just likes to lay and stare. She pointed out that she "can" reach for things, she just "chooses" not to. So i shouldnt worry. She said some babies are just very good content babies, and it doesnt take much to entertain them. Brooklynn is right where she should be developmentally, scooting along the floor, and rolling etc. She told us that we could go ahead and start rice cereal, but i told her i didnt think brooklynn was ready for that yet. I am more of a child led parent, and i believe she will show signs of being ready for the next stage before i should just give it to her. She is getting all the nutrition she needs through her formula right now, so we arent going to move to that stage just yet. I dont need to give her cereal at night to help her sleep longer, because she already sleeps long enough. She doesnt act like she is hungry beyond her normal feedings, so i just dont find it necessary yet. The dr agreed, and thought that was great. She said its perfectly fine to skip the cereal stage altogether, as long as we start vegetable solids by 7 months. Which is fine with us, we plan to start those at her 1/2 birthday :)

Anyways, my babies are healthy, happy and smart. Theres not much more i could ask for.

did i mention that we have the best pediatrician ever. She sat in there with us for 30 minutes talking, playing, and just being interested in what we had to say. She doesnt rush us or make us feel stupid, and she always talks about how her crazy kids did those silly things that bryleigh does to. She talks to us like she is our friend, and we appreciate that :)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Where did the weekend go?

Well another weekend has come and passed.. funny the rate of speed the weekends seem to fly by at...

Wes had to work both days this weekend, so i wouldn't even consider it a weekend lol. He did come home early today, but i would've rather the reason that he had to come home had no existed.

I got a spinal tap a month ago, as mentioned previously in my blog. Then i had to get a blood patch due to a post spinal headache. While the anesthesiologist was doing the blood patch he kept missing, and hitting something to the left of my spine... Well we now know that it was a nerve of some sort. It has continuously gotten worse at the site, and today i couldn't even walk. Literally. They wanted me to get a quick catscan to make sure it was nothing life threatening, like a spreading infection, and had an MRI scheduled to find out which nerve, disc, etc, and what exactly happened. I am feeling a little better right now, which is great.

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. Getting the routine shots for one baby is hard enough, tomorrow both my girls have to get their shots at the same time. Needless to say daddy is coming with us to this appt. I am NOT looking forward to this lol.

well, so long blogger buddies, so long.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

a year ago today

A year ago today my little girl turned 4 months old. She was smart, and beautiful, full of spunk and attitude. Everyone always said that once we got to 4 months, her colic would be gone, and that would be the funnest part of having a baby.

A year ago today my 4 month olds life changed drastically. The fact that my baby girl turned 4 months old that day, wasnt the biggest thing we had going on.

The semi truck came, the movers packed, we said our goodbyes, and off we went.

A year ago today we left for Missouri.

We left virginia much later than we wanted. It was 7pm before we pulled out of the driveway. Wes and i had to drive seperate cars, so i was driving alone. We drove throughout the night and got to nashville around 4 or 5 am. We spent 2 days in Nashville, and got back on the road heading for our new home, in Kansas City Missouri.

Today my daughter turned 16 months old. It has been a year since we left virginia. We still have a while to go until we can return, but this is a big milestone. We are one year closer to going home.

Although life here isnt as great as it is home, nothing is ever the same as home.. It is better than it was. I have become very picky about who i allow into our lives, to keep the drama out. I have shutout people that i would never imagine having to shutout, but we are happier that way. Life here isnt so awful anymore, and i hope it helps to make the remaining two years go by fast.

Happy 16 months old baby girl.

and 2 days ago, my precious Brooklynn turned 4 months old. But nothing drastic happened on that day... She spent her special day at Aunt cheyannes with her cousins.

Friday, April 23, 2010

on the menu

Well its Saturday.. well really, its 12:23 am... so friday just ended..

Im sitting here trying to convince myself that cooking texas toast right now at midnight just because im craving it would be a bad idea.. but it sounds so yummy... on that note alone, I am going to take a pregnancy test soon... Not because i think im pregnant. Just to put my mind at ease. I am on the mirena, sooo.... im supposed to be pretty in the clear when it comes to pregnancies for 5 years... but knowing me, i would be the one that gets pregnant on it. So i freak out over any sign at all.. cravings, no period, etc.. no period is caused by the mirena often.. so i guess i will freak out a lot.

ANYWAYS.. heres whats on the menu this week :)

Saturday- grilled salmon, broccoli, brown rice. I let wes choose what he wanted for Saturday.. since i usually pick the meals.. so i could go ahead and take it out of the freezer.. did i mention i am loving my new 20 dollar deep freezer...

Sunday- Sloppy Joes and waffle fries... This is also a wes favorite, but bryleigh and I like it too :)

Monday- Spaghetti and meatballs.. Mondays are typically wes' longest work days.. I dont try to make anything fancy on mondays.. no point.. probably going to either eat alone, or eat after 9pm... not that sloppy Joes are fancy, but you get the point

Tuesday- pork chops on the grill, white rice, green beans.. discovered the most delicious marinade for meats last week.. orange juice, lemon juice and some other various spices. Sounds wierd, orange juice on meats, but holy moly... Tried it on pork chops, chicken, and steaks, and we both agreed, it ended up being the best pork chops, chicken, and steaks we had ever had. Definitely using that marinade from now on.

Wednesday- pineapple sausage brats on the grill, carrots on the grill, onion rings

Thursday- Garlic chicken pasta.. its a yummy chicken, pasta, vegetables mix that is SOOOO good.

Friday- Fajitas

No going out to eat next week. We are saving money for our LA trip :) found out its 40/night JUST TO PARK!!! AH!



well, im gonna go preheat the toaster oven.. after writing my list, i especially have to have the texas toast. I usually NEVER snack. with breakfast lunch and dinner i rarely get hungry in between, so i guess it doesnt make me feel bad to indulge every once and a while... besides, 2 pregnancies down, and i only have about 11 lbs to be back to my original weight. I'm okay with that number 3 months after i had a baby.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sleepy girl..

Okay i want some feedback moms out there...

Bryleigh has been in this rut.. maybe not a rut.. maybe its perfectly fine. I know with kids her age and younger there is a wide range of normal, but i feel like this is a bit excessive. Well.. my kid likes to sleep.. a lot. She rarely fusses when its night night time, and when she falls asleep, she sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps. On an average night, she goes to bed at 9pm. We keep this late bedtime due to the fact that her daddy works 12 hour days, so if he is going to get to see her, it has to be after 8pm. Well she goes to bed at 9pm, and doesnt wake up until 11 on most days. 11!!!!!!! Somedays, it will be noon and finally i will go in there and wake her up. THATS 15 HOURS OF SLEEP!!!! 3 hours after she wakes up.. around 3 or so, she is ready for another nap. and that lasts 3 hours. MY CHILD IS SLEEPING 18 hours a day!!! thats nuts to me. She is developing right on track if not advanced according to me lol, shes smart, engages with us very well, eats well, etc.. I am concerned. I thought at first maybe it was a growth spurt, but its lasted a long time..

any opinions would be great :)

last time i talked to the pediatrician about this, she said "most other parents would be happy to have your "problem"." very sarcastically lol. im going to talk to her about it again next visit.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I GOT MY GOLDEN TICKET

I feel like i just auditioned for American Idol... I'm standing there... i just sang my heart out.. I did my best..randy, simon, kara, and ellen all looking at me kinda funny because i cant carry a tune in a bucket.. and then i come back to reality, click submit, and its real.. im going to hollywood.... Wes and i are going to Los Angeles california for our anniversary. I cant believe it. I have dreamed my whole life of visiting california. We found a great deal for a whole package.. Hotel, plane, car.. Already booked, already paid for. I've got my golden ticket.. we will spend 4 days there... exploring.. Bryleigh and Brooke will stay with grandma, at our house for 3 of the days, then the 4th day they will spend that with their cousins. I have caught myself a couple times at random parts of the day just stopping whatever im doing, and getting kind of giddy like a small kid at christmas time thinking about whats coming up... 1 more thing to mark off my list of things to do in my life.


Today bryleigh did something that i thought was really cute. Something really small, but made me smile. Since brooklynn was born, bryleigh has done a great job acting like brooklynn does not exist. She wont look at her, wont get close to her, wont kiss her, etc... The most she has done is go up to her when she is crying and either try to force feed her some snacks, or tries to feed her some of her sippy cup... But today brooklynn was being very peaceful, just looking at her playgym mobile.. laying on the floor.. (i can safely put her there because bryleigh will not bother her 99% of the time).. but if it were that 1 percent, she is like 2 feet from me... Anyways, she was staring at her mobile, and she started to fuss a little.. So bryleigh kept looking at her.. kinda with a curious look.. she finally walked over to her, got down on her knees, put her face right above hers and said "Heyyyyyy" really sweetly.. Bryleigh is 1 so her conversation skills are lacking, so after Hey i guess she didnt know what to say next so she just stared at her smiling, and then walked away. I thought it was so sweet. I think Bryleigh is a very loving and sweet girl deep down.. sometimes my sweet girl turns into her alter ego, Rotten Bob... but thats a whole other story lol.

Well thats all for today :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

exhausted!!

man what a weekend. Friday and saturday night we were at the ER... hindsights 20/20, and we couldve POSSIBLY, very slight chance, couldve prevented last nights visit.. but.. like i said, hindsight is 20/20..

We took Bryleigh friday night to childrens mercy's ER, (her pediatrician sent us there)... We sat there for 3 hours while my child had a 104 fever without being seen. Someone was keeping Brooklynn other than grandma or aunt cheyanne, so i felt uncomfortable leaving her there for SO long, so i went and asked how much longer we had to go until it was our turn and there was still several people in front of us. My main concern was making her feel better, and i really thought it was the fever bug she gets all the time. The whole alternate the pain relievers routine, and she would be okay. So we left to get Brooklynn, decided to try that, and if she didnt improve to take her the next day. Well she improved, or i thought. Fever stayed around 100 all day, until night time. we gave her the meds, and the fever wouldnt break.. just continued to rise... so we went back.. this time to the hospital that we like.

As soon as we sat down in Triage bryleigh threw up all over my pants.. twice. it was everywhere. Her heart rate was in the 200's, and her fever was 104. Although she tried to tell us that her temp was only 100, because she was using an ear thermometer that never work when a toddler is moving all around.. so they toook it again rectally, because i told her to and it was 104. She was immediately given an IV because that was supposed to get her fever down. With meds in the IV. Iv finished, she was still miserable.. temp was STILL 104. They gave her something stronger and that finally broke the fever. She wanted to walk all throough the ER.. she was one of only 2 patients there. she was smiling, laughing, and telling all the doctors ALL DETTERGEN. my baby is so sweet. She had an ear infection, some sort of throat infection, and was vomitting.. not sure if she has the stomach virus for the 2897 time, or if she was vomitting from being so sick. dont know if that even makes sense. but in triage was the only time shes thrown up this time around.

Today has been great. She was only slightly fussy. wants to be held and cuddled, which i love because she is NOT a cuddle baby or a sit still child. she has just started really wanting to eat again tonight. Shes on amoxicillan and zofran, and tylenol and motrin for 48 hours.


wes and i are SOOOOO tired. we got home from the ER at 5 ,didnt fall asleep until 6 due to trying to make bryleigh more comfy.. brooklynn ofo course went to bed normal time, so she was ready to get up at 9. I did something that i never do, and i felt really guilty for it. When she woke up at 9, i fed her and put her in her swing so i could go back to sleep :( She didnt cry or anything, and im assuming went right back to sleep. Shes such a good baby. I know doing that this one time isnt going to be detrimental to her, it just made me feel bad. well, its 10, and im going to sleep so good tonight. goodnight, thankyou everyone for the prayers.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

fevers and new words

Bryleigh has been running a fever since yesterday. Yesterday it got to 104. We called her pediatrician, and the nurse said for us to take her to childrens mercy. Weve been through this what we call "fever bug" a few times since bryleigh has been born. She gets these crazy high temperatures, we go to the hospital or dr, and they say the same thing. Its viral, alternate motrin and tylenol every 4 hours. okay. seems to work. Usually it helps make her more comfortable. Maybe it is.. Its times like these i wish she was able to communicate better.. What hurts? Are you hot? are you cold? what can mommy do? I just want to make it all better. I rock her and love on her but she still whimpers every few minutes.. I know she is saying "mommy fix it", and i try so hard to make her feel like mommy wants so badly to fix it.

Anyways, her language has really taken off this week. I love the new phrases she says. Funny the things she catches on to. She now claps for herself and says "good girl" when she does something that SHE thinks is good.. Like throwing my keys in the trash...
When i give her medicine i always say "all better".. So the last few times i have given her medicine she says "All detter-gen" I dont know where the extra syllable comes from... But i know what shes saying. And by the way, this is her first 3 syllable phrase :) (All words that start with the letter B come out with the "D" sound right now... Bye bye is dye dye, ball sounds like doll.. but i must say, all dettergen is definitely my new favorite.

Monkey and bunny are her best friends. She goes everywhere with Monkey.. but 90 percent of the time she has Bunny too.. She is saying Monkey, and it sounds like un-KEE.. she really enunciates the KEY sound.. its funny. She has also added the word poopoo.. but im not quite so proud of that one lol.

Well thats all for the night. Everyone say a prayer for Bryleigh.. Mommy might not be able to completely fix it, and make her not sick anymore, but God can

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

looking up

in approximately 3 weeks we will have lived here in missouri for 1 year. It has been a very very long year, a very hard year, but things are starting to look up. Although last week was a very hard week due to illness, it was still an alright week.

Sunday i had my first softball game in a really long time. Wes' aunt and uncle asked me to play on their co-ed team. Wes played right center field and i started out playing third base. By the third inning i was moved to short stop and played there the rest of the 1st and the whole 2nd game. It makes me feel pretty good about myself to be playing short stop on a co-ed team. I made a few errors, but nothing i didnt expect after pretty much playing no sport in 2 years. All in all i had a blast, and am so excited to be playing again. I met some cool people too.

I have also been hanging out with my sister in law a lot lately. Life out here was so lonely feeling like i had no one. I mean of course i have wes, and he is wonderful, but he works really long hours so 95 percent of my time i was spending alone with the girls, not going anywhere. Well Cheyanne and I have been planning outings, park trips, shopping trips, garden work, etc, and that has really helped me to enjoy my days here, instead of dread them. Its amazing how much having one friend can help.

And finally school. I have found a school out here that accepts all my credits as not just electives, but actual core classes towards a degree in biblical counseling. (yay) I have only 39 credits to go for my bachelors, and they have accelerated 6 week courses, so i will easily be able to finish in the next two years. And then i plan on starting on my masters, and joining the military as an officer.



Friday we are going to a greenhouse i have been seeing commercials for on tv. I want to get some more starter plants for squash, strawberries, cucumbers and tomatoes.. might look at potatoes too.. garden is doing so good. im really proud of how it looks.

and as for the kiddos... the best part of my life.

brooklynn laughed out loud, like really laughed today. i had the same exact feeling i had when bryleigh laughed for the first time. it completely melted me. i think it is the sweetest sound in the world to hear a small baby laugh out loud. and i was able to hear both my babies laugh out loud for the first time, and daddy did too :) i was able to get him on the phone and lay the phone beside her so he could hear her. i love those moments. i finally got the recorder up to record her but she stopped!! im sure there is more giggles to come though!

Bryleigh added a new word to her vocabulary today. I hear people bragging about their childrens 30 word vocabs that are younger than bryleigh and i think that is nuts. Bryleigh (i dont think) has a 30 word vocabulary, but she sure is so smart. She is constantly picking up on things, and saying/doing things i had no idea she could do. Yesterday i had a candybar wrapper and i was joking and said here bryleigh take this to the trash, and sure enough, she went and threw it away. Wes and i made a huge deal of it, clapping and telling her what a good job she did. it was so sweet, she clapped for herself and did a small dance where she bounces up and down with her butt when shes excited. She knows where her eyes, hair, nose, and mouth are. her feet, and her fingers. she can count to three outloud, and also with her fingers. today she pointed at a banana and said "NA NA, NA NA" so i gave her a banana, and she was happy. she says thankyou when someone hands her something, and she says it clear enough for others to understand. she says all gone, and whats that. sorry for the long rant, she just makes me so proud to be a mother. they both do :)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

25.94

25.94 cents is how much i spent at the grocery store tonight. I did a great job. I planned my meals, found my coupons and deals, and went on my mission. The meal plan for the week is as follows:

Sunday- We will be at the Royals/Redsox baseball game and will be eating baseball food! Bryleigh will be having leftover chicken alfredo with brocolli, one of her favorites.

Monday- Stuffed shells. We are very picky about our ground beef. We only get 90/10 groundbeef because it has less fat content. I was able to find it on sale at Hy-vee for 5.97 for 3 lbs.. thats really really really good.. My stuffed shells include ground beef, different cheeses, onions, spinach, green peppers and a couple of other ingredients i throw in as i am cooking. Yes, we eat a lot of noodles in this house.

Tuesday- chicken legs, baby carrots, brown rice. i love chicken legs. i always try to create a different marinade for them and let them marinade over night before cooking them. We dont have them often, but they are definitely a family favorite because they are so cheap, and tastey

Wednesday- Shrimp kabobs on the grill. Shrimp, squash, broccoli, and whatever else i decide to throw on there. We will have this with a rice pilaf. I found a great 2 lb bag of shrimp at walmart for 10 bucks last week. Just had to get the veggies and the rice.

Thursday- stuffed chicken breasts on the grill. These will be stuffed with green peppers, mushrooms, monteray jack cheese, and wrapped in bacon. I've never tried these before. We already had the bacon, mushrooms and green peppers. So for this one i just picked up some chicken breasts. We will also have a salad with rasberry vinigarette dressing, and some mashed potatoes.

Friday- Hamburgers on the grill. Will use the remaining ground beef from the 90/10 groundbeef i found on sale. Corn on the cob on the grill with this and a pasta salad.

Saturday- buy one get one free at HY-VEE. Got a coupon for buy one pint of chinese food, get one free. num num :)

Well that rounds out the week.. So proud that i was able to get everything we need for the week for 25.94. Hopefully we can stick to this budget. It was fun actually going through the grocery store adding things up to make sure i didnt spend too much. Usually i just find whats on sale and throw it in the cart without caring what my total has really reached, just making sure i save money on buying the sale items. Well thats all for now.. time to work on my flower bed!

the challenge

So i saw on Teri Woolards blog a link to a blog called "30 dollar grocery challenge".. i looked around at that blog, and saw some deals and store specials linked.. Didnt do much more digging than the first page.. But i thought, and that sounded like something fun to do.. Wes and i are always looking for deals. We find stuff on sale, buy it while its on sale, and stock up on things we can use in the future while they are on sale. We love saving money.. I guess you could say its a hobby. We buy used, slightly damaged, etc on all of our house remodels. We buy in bulk and dont pay sales tax by going to the commissary when it comes to groceries. So i thought it would be a fun idea for us while planning out our meals for the week, try to see if we can live under 30 dollars worth of groceries for the month. Obviously that doesnt include brooklynns formula, but everything else. I am excited about this. Maybe this is something we could strive for each week. That would be a lot of money saved.
I will be typing up a blog entry later on the meals we decided on for the week, the coupons i was able to find, and how much total we ended up spending.

I'm excited. Thanks for the idea teri's link!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

what a week

I have missed my girls SO much this week. And i think they have missed me too ;) I told Bryleigh tonight that tomorrow everything starts to go back to normal. Maybe she understood a little. who knows. She seems happy though. I think shes had a good time at her cousins house, even if she hasnt learned how to play WITH someone yet. She still plays "beside" people. lol.

Anyways, tonight was the first night all week that i went in a different room of our house while at home. I have literally stayed in the bedroom in my bed when i wasnt at the hospital. Tonight i was able to take a bath, and sit in the living room and play with bryleigh for a while. It was nice. It was hard putting her to bed tonight. I just wanted to let her stay up so i could spend time with her. But i know that sleep is important for her, and tomorrow will be a new day for us. She has a surprise in the back yard for whenever we actually get to venture out there. Mommy found her a sandbox on craigslist for 10 bucks, one of the turtle ones that has the lid... I think shes gonna love it :)

Well, thanks again everyone for all the prayers and words of encouragement, help with my kids, phone calls, and thoughts. It's been quite the week, but i made it, with the help of a lot of people.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

feedback

I'm not getting very good feedback on my blog. I'm not really sure if i even have people reading my blog lol. oh well. its a good memory keeper!

Today was another hard one. I know thats normal with what i have and to be expected, but today was harder than it shouldve been. I found out that all my pain is NOT normal. They told me at the hospital today that i probably have a leak in my cerebrospinal fluid because it didnt seal correctly. So i got a whole bunch of meds and if the "front headache" , (i have two headaches, one in the front, and one in the back) well if the front headache returns, then i have to get a spinal patch. Which means they have to go back in my spine, and clot it with my own blood. ugh. yucky. Well anyways, needless to say, i left the hospital, and the front headache came right back. pretty much immediately. im so hoping it just goes away, but the dr was pretty sure id need the spinal patch. but she assured me id be much better almost instantly. that brings me peace of mind.

I love my family. I have missed my kids terribly. I had my break, i wanted a break, but i didnt want this big of a break. i wanted like, a nap at most. lol. i have been hugging bryleigh every chance i get i have missed her so much.. one more day probably, and i will be back with her every minute again. her and my precious brooklynn.

better sleep

I woke up so many times last night confused, talking, jumping, shaking, etc. But you have to fall asleep to keep waking up, so im happy. I slept off and on the entire night, so thats a large improvement. I kept kind of seeing things in my half awake/half asleep state, and i know thats cause of the all the meds. Wes says i told him i saw a squirrel once lol. who knows. I sure hope today is a better day!!! I think it will be.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i have to get better because.....

This weekend i have a lot of plans. I am excited about my weekend.. and i will get better by then... I am the little engine that can...

So friday, or Saturday there is a huge kids consignment sale setting up in kansas city. Its outside on a soccer field, and me and cheyanne are pretty excited about it. I love those sales. Everyone comes together and sells their used/slightly used and sometimes even new stuff for pretty good prices. And then on the last day of the sale everything is marked half off. So we are going hopefully Friday, depending on how i feel.. and if i see stuff that i really want that will be marked down on sunday, cheyanne is going back that day and ill send her with money so she can grab it for me :) My day sunday is packed, so i wont be able to go that day. As a matter of fact, she will have Bryleigh for a couple hours.

Sunday is supposed to be a really really exciting day. At 1pm the redsox are playing the royals. and i have 4th row seats. 4th row seats, right beside the redsox's dugout. I am a yankees fan through and through, but the redsox have some great players, and i am a baseball fan. All of baseball. The good players are the good players, and i love seeing the good players play :)

Sunday night is our first church softball games of the season. Its going to take a lot for me to be up to playing, but the doctor told me i should be fully recovered in a week from when it started, which was last sunday. So if i am better, i will play. I will obviously not put full effort in, but if im better i will play. games are at 8 and 9. im pretty stoked.

I am feeling a little better if you cant tell. Wes brought home my tylenol 3, and i believe he upped the dose because he wrote it for me to only take 1 every 6 hours, as opposed to 2 lortabs. But the lortabs were only 5mg, the tylenol 3's i believe are stronger. It kicked in pretty soon after i took it, temp went all the way back down to 98.5, and im only in slight pain. So im pretty happy. I even got to eat a little dinner. Now im just waiting for the initial "hyper" to go away. For some reason pain killers give me a load of energy when i first take them. maybe thats normal?

Well i have only slept 5 hours in the last 3 days. I am exhausted so i really am hoping for good sleep tonight.

Thanks again everyone for all the prayers. It means a lot to know people care about little old me.

What a day... very long post.

I have a chance to update.. so I'm going to do it.

Its 5 am and i cant sleep. I guess most of you that read this also read my facebook.. but id like to type out all the events leading up to this morning.. I feel like there are some things i learned on my journey the last 48 hours that i think can maybe ease peoples mind if they ever go through the same thing.

It all started Sunday, on Easter. The day was going great. Other than the fact that i accidentally bought thigh meat instead of breast meat for the fajitas, everything tasted wonderful. (I dont like thigh chicken meat and either does Wes) oops. I guess that should have been the least of my worries given what was to come. It was so much fun having family over at my house to celebrate Jesus rising from the dead for our sins. The girls Jolie and Bryleigh went on an egg hunt. I am lucky enough the have a Brother and Sister-in-law out here that have girls almost the exact same ages as my girls. Jolie is 18 months, bryleigh is 15 months. Brooklynn is 3 months, and i believe Nova will be 2 months in a couple of days. Boy did we sure plan that one good! lol. The egg hunt was so cute. The girls did a great job collecting all their eggs and putting them in their baskets. I tried to get candies and small toys that would be fun to hold and play with. Bryleigh loves bracelets and rings and stuff, and Jolie i believe does too so i tried to get some fun "pretties" for them to wear. Along with candies of course! It was a great day.

Sunday evening i was sitting on the couch talking with Wes' mom because she stayed late to hang out. I started noticing that i just wasnt feeling "right"... I kept feeling my head thinking that maybe i felt warm, but wasnt too concerned because i never get fevers. Around 6 i went to lay down and by 7 i was in excrutiating pain. I took my temp and it was 102.2.. Really odd for me. I get strept throat pretty consistently once a year so i was thinking maybe that was it. My throat didnt hurt so i checked my body for any sort of rash. Some years i get the Strep rash instead of Strep throat, but not usually a high fever. My fever never goes about 100.5 because its normally low 97.0 to start. The headache hit around 7:30 and by 8pm my temp was at 103.5. by 9 it reached 104 and i finally took some medicine. The headache was in the back bottom of my head, and my neck hurt so bad. Oh the pain in my neck was so excrutiating. I felt like somebody put a brace around my neck and wouldnt let me move it to ease the pain. It was stiff, and it hurt. I started alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen every 4 hours and my fever would not go below 101.5. Although i felt much better at 101.5 than i did at 104. I had a very hard night and the next morning i woke up and it was back up to 103. I sat up to drink some water and went into a febrile seizure. As soon as i came back around from that i was laying face down in vomit all over our bed. Yucky. Thats the point Wes decided to stay home from work. He told his superior at work what was going on and i was still refusing to go to the doctor. Luckily his superior told him that either i go to the doctor or he come to work. He was saying this to ultimatem me into going to the dr, not to be mean. I agreed to go to an Urgent care not having a clue what was wrong with me. And really, I know these symptoms, but i was way too out of it to put them together. My sister in law agreed to watch the kids for me while we went to the local Urgent care that Tri-care (our military insurance) sent us to.

Once we arrived at Urgent care the doctor came out and immediately sent me over to the emergency room. He wanted me to go by ambulance, still not saying what he thought i had i assume out of fear of scaring me.. Wes insisted on driving me, which i rathered. I mean other than the awful headache and neckpain, i could walk, i was aware of what was going on, and i wasnt nearly as confused or disoriented as the morning. I felt fine compared to first thing in the morning and the night before.

When we got to the ER they took us back right away. They put a mask over me and thats when i started to get scared. Blood work was done immediately, within the first 5 minutes of being at the hospital. My temp went down a little, and was at 102.4. at the urgent care, the nurse took my temp with one of the plastic disposable strips and tried to say it was only 99 the doctor at the ER told me that those are very inaccurate and theres no way my temp got that low a few minutes before that lol. I agreed because we have an ear thermometer that is really accurate and it was saying 102.5, so the 99 was really suprising to me!!

The nurse came in to tell me that they think i have meningitis. She explained to me that there is a Bacteria Meningitis, and a Viral meningitis. The bacterial form is the very bad one. She said if i had that, my children would have to be tested, along with whoever they have been around. I immediately started to cry. I was the least bit concerned for myself. My precious children, and precious nieces might have this because of me. I have never felt more helpless in my life. I texted Cheyanne my sister in law to ask her to check them for fevers, she said they didnt feel warm at all, so for the time being i was slightly at ease. Wes' temperature was consistently checked and it never went above 98.

I got sent for a catscan because they wanted to rule out an anurism, or anything else on my brain that could be causing this. When the cat scan started, it hit me. Could this be it for me? If i have the bacterial meningitis i could die. I could go deaf, or blind, or any other really bad things could happen to me. I immediately started to pray for my family. I cried so hard in that catscan. I prayed that God would help Wes take care of my children if something happens to me. I was so scared. On top of that, i was so scared for my babies. This could not be happening. I was scared that if i have this, not only was it me that it would affect, it was everyone i was around. I was scared that my children would have to undergo all this medical testing, and have a hospital stay. I was scared that my baby nieces would have to get tested. I worried for everyone. The military pays 100 percent of our hospital/medical bills, but not everyone elses insurance pays that much. I was worried about all the copays that this would cost everyone, and about what illnesses can potentially come from this. This was i believe the scariest moment for me.

Cat scan looked great. Thank God. and btw, i actually have a brain, its official :)

After the catscan i had a very thorough physical exam in which i had every single physical marker there is for meningitis. They were very certain this is what it was. I couldnt lift my next to touch my chest without my neck getting so tight and causing EXTREME central back of the neck/bottom back of the head pain. When i lift my legs it elicited an immediate response of pain in the same area in the neck. That is when i finally got my pain meds. So thankful for pain meds!!! I call the pain meds they gave me "insta-drunk". I was trying to tell the nurse something when they kicked in, and then she started bouncing up and down because i couldnt see straight. They gave me benadryl, motrin, phenyl which is a pain med, another pain med, steroids, antibiotics, iv fluids, and potassium pills. My potassium levels were really low and my white blood count was at 15, which is a sign of infection. The other pain med they gave me i cannot remember the name, but the nurse told me it was the strongest stuff they have, since i am HIGHLY allergic to morphine. And yes, it was SO strong. It was so strong that it went in through the IV, and immediately BURNED in my throat. burned bad.

The doctor came back in and told me i was going to have a spinal tap. Time number 3 that i started to cry. I was really upset about that. I had heard really bad things about spinal taps and how bad they hurt. I called my mom really upset and she said something that really helped me a lot. I am getting this spinal tap, so that my babies dont have to. If i get this spinal tap, and i do have it, everyone will be treated with an antibiotic immediately. I would be the only person that would have to be given the spinal tap. So when i looked at it that way, the spinal tap wasnt as scary, it was just necessary. I had to get in position like i was getting an epidural. Wes came over and held my hands really tight. I didnt want to move at all because i always fear getting paralysis or something from it. They gave me the local anestesia in my back, and then drew the spinal fluid. It was a piece of cake. I'm not going to lie, it hurt.. but it didnt HURT. The headache, the neckache, was far worse. It was pretty much a bee sting, and im glad i was able to calm down enough to be brave and get it. I am thankful for my moms words, making the procedure much easier to get. No matter what you have been through with your mom, they are still the person that you want when you are going through things like this.

Immediately we knew that it wasnt bacterial. I was so relieved. I think i cried again. he said if it was bacterial, 9 times out of 10 the spinal fluid wouldnt have been clear. That was the point that i let my sister in law know what they thought it was. I didnt want to tell her at first, because i didnt want her to worry unnecessarily if it wasnt that. We rested in the room for the next 45 minutes and the two doctors that had been working on me and my nurse came back in the room. The chief resident came in with them and told me the blood work had every indication of meningitis, but the spinal fluid came back negative for it. Since i had every physical marker for it, they are still diagnosing me with Viral meningitis. I was released a few hours later, with instructions to come back immediately if my fever gets high again, or if my headaches get unbarable again, and then i will be admitted to go through the illness in the hospital. (I wanted to go home).

Cheyanne will have the girls for the next 3 days, and wes will pick them up after work. We will see how i feel Friday, but i am sure i will be feeling much better by then.

All in all i want to say that as crazy as it sounds, i can see the positive in all of this big time. I have been go go go sincei had brooklynn, and my body has become so exhausted phsycally and emotionally. I feel like maybe this is God's way of forcing me to take a break. a much needed break.

I realize that meningitis is pretty rare, but if you or anyone you know ever have these symptoms- high fever, EXTREMELY bad headache in the back of the head, and neck, please go to the emergency room right away. It is nothing to sit around and wait with. The headache may even circle around to the front. The spinal tap is nothing if you have had an epidural. It is no worse. To me it was even better because you arent having a contraction while they are giving it.

and finally, i would like for everyone to say a prayer. I want everyone to thank God for the fact that it was not the bacterial kind. And that four babies that i love were not put at risk for this.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Sweet Escape

I am starting to play on a softball team next weekend. Those who know me know that this will definitely help me enjoy my time here more. Softball was my first love. Growing up it used to be my escape from life. Life wasnt always easy for my brother and I growing up, so I am so thankful that my mom was able to put us in sports during that time. I dont think at the time she realized what a great thing she was doing for us. During that time it helped us get away from everything, it helped us build lasting relationships with others, and it provided us with some of the best memories i think both of us have. It's a great feeling knowing that you are actually good at something. It helped me, who was an extremely insecure kid gain security and confidence in myself. I really hope that my children have an interest in sports like we did. They dont have to be the best, although in my eyes im sure they will be, but i hope they at least want to play. I hope they can get as much out of it as my brother and I did. But if they wanna play the trombone in the marching band and never want to touch a ball, i will still be a proud mother.
Anyways, I hope i do alright on this team. Softball is probably the only thing in the world that i have a whole lot of confidence in. BUT i have had two children in the last 15 months so i am a tad out of shape.....just a tad. lol.

Friday, April 2, 2010

April Fools day equals babies

April fools days have become kinda a joke at our house.. I guess thats what they are.. jokes.. Well in our case april fools day for the last two years brought about something other than a big joke. 2 years ago, April 1st 2008.. i remember it very clearly.. I was sitting there in a training meeting at the corporate office for dollar tree. I loved my job, i loved everything i had going for me. I was the youngest person in the huge company, money was great.. life was just fun. In my training meeting, i started to get bored.. Wes and i wouldl email back and forth while i was at work. We werent married, just kind of dating. We were more like best friends who went on dates i guess? We never really established our relationship.. Just werent with anyone else I guess. I loved him. I wouldnt say I loved him nearly as much as now, but i loved him. We had been best friends for 4 years. Inseperable to say the least when his ship wasnt out to sea. Anyways, i decided to play a little trick on him.. I emailed him telling him i was pregnant. He was very positive and nice about it.. I was shocked that he bought it. He told me later that he was standing in the line to get lunch and realized it was april fools day.. I laughed.. and that was that. .. Four weeks later, i found out i was four weeks pregnant. Clearly not a good april fools day joke. However, the best gift I have ever been given. The day i found out i was pregnant with Bryleigh it was a sunday. I went to the dollar tree to get paper plates for some random reason i dont remember, and i saw pregnancy tests. I thought how odd it was that they sold pregnancy tests for only a dollar, and thought it would be a fun expirement to take one. Knowing that i was not pregnant, i peed on the stick and didnt even look at it for an hour or so.. I actually forgot i even took the test and got side tracked doing something else. What a shocker when i saw those two lines. I just figured it was a cheap test so it wasnt real. I called wes, he laughed and we went and bought more tests. 7 positive tests later.. and we started to get the point. We decided that day to get married. It wasnt really a question. We were best friends, we enjoyed each others company, so we decided that would be the best option for us. We planned our wedding for about 4 weeks from that day. We spent those 4 weeks really falling in love with each other. We already had a great bond of being such great friends, so the marriage really came easy to us. We took lots of trips and spent a ton of time together up until the time Bryleigh was born. I am so thankful for that time. During that time we became so close.. not only as best friends but as husband and wife. We loved each other so much and i felt like the luckiest woman in the world. When Bryleigh was born, i would look at her and cry with happiness. I would tell her how thankful i was for her, for what she gave me. Still to this day i look at her and hold her and think about how that little girl saved my life..

The next year was a little different. I jokingly told wes i was pregnant again on april 1st of 2009.. i told him that in an obvious joking way and we both laughed. May 14th I went to the doctor for pain in my lower abdomen. I get cysts or USED TO pre-bryleigh get cysts pretty often. I have even had surgery on one cyst that ruptured, so i just figured i had another cyst. We did a pregnancy test to make sure i wasnt pregnant, just incase, and it was negative. Had an ultrasound and couldnt see a cyst. Did blood work and then i was on my way. The very next day i had my wisdom teeth removed, and before that i went to the amusement park and we got to ride some rollercoasters. The nurse called that afternoon to tell me my blood work came back and i was pregnant again. UGH!!! what a funny day that was. Wes laughed again, and now we have baby Brooklynn Mackynzie. Im not sure there is a more calm, content, sweet baby.

Anyways, thats my big long april fools day story... Needless to say, this year there was NO mention of a baby on april fools day. None at all. I have the mirena so if i get pregnant on this thing then well God wants me to be the next Michelle Duggar.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

dirty toes





















































today was a big day.. I woke up this morning to see the sun shining, and it wasnt one of those days.. it wasnt one of those days where your alarm clock is going off (we will call this alarm clock Brooklynn), and you feel the strong temptation to push the snooze button on brooklynn.. too bad babies dont come with a snooze button.. now theres an idea i should patent. Anyways, i got up quick in a very positive upbeat mood.. i was a woman on a mission. Today was the day we would start planting in my garden. My sister in law and my nieces came over today to help me, and it was a very successful day. I got my first raised bed planted. It is full of broccoli and lettuce. Tomorrow i will plant another bed full of herbs and onions. We will have a total of 6 raised beds when all is said and done. We will also have several upside down tomato plants, a rasberry and grape trellis, and other various things planted. I am so excited to see what comes from all of this hard work. My finger nails have dirt in them, my toes are dirty and i got mud spots all on my face.. my battle scars from today!! im proud.. im very proud..