I had a realization the other day. It was a random moment, an Ah Ha! moment... Wes, me, and the girls drove to walmart, and on the way home he started talking about something that he used to do on Noland road... and he kept talking, but i was away in never never land thinking... Thinking about how just last year i wouldnt have known what or where noland road was.. or who he was talking about..
I used to joke with people at the casino where i worked that the only place i knew how to get to was the Walmart... which was true for the longest time.. I didnt go anywhere.. I hated everything out here except my husband and daughter. (pre brooklynn time).. But now i feel like i can get most anywhere... I'm more comfortable.
I thought about how I didnt go to bed sad anymore from hating it here so much. There was a situation going on out here for a long time that kept me extremely sad. It made me insecure towards everyone because i didnt know who all was buying into all the crap going on, and who wasnt. Now that that is gone, everything has been steadily getting better.
I realized that night that this is home now. I'm much more comfortable here. I have learned who I can trust, and who to distance myself and my family from. I have learned where the drama comes from, and i stay away from it. I have developed a great friendship out here, and that makes it a million times better. My relationship with my mother in law is great, and i wish it could have been that way the whole time. It was hard to see who is who when you have shut everyone out altogether because of everything that was happening.
Life out here has become very easy, and nice.
Home will always be wherever my husband and my babies are. Theres no where else id rather be at the end of the day than in bed with my husband, or with my girls. That can be here, Virginia, or Kenya. I dont care...
On that note.. goodnight